


As I Am

by RazorFire12



Category: DBH - Fandom, Detroit: Become Human
Genre: Fluff, M/M, No Smut, mention of transgender androids, that’s a thing now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-07
Updated: 2018-06-07
Packaged: 2019-05-19 09:35:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,778
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14871266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RazorFire12/pseuds/RazorFire12
Summary: First fic hereConnor is too adorable and would do anything for Hank. Hank loves him just as he is





	As I Am

It’s clear Hank doesn’t see me as a machine.. but what am I to him? A friend? A colleague? His partner in work only?  
I know he’s heterosexual, had a son after all.. but would an android make it different? I need this man, the one who makes me feel more than any other, the one who accepts me. Does he need me as I need him? Does he share this emotion? I find myself afraid to find out, afraid of rejection and his anger.. afraid to lose him when I know I can not survive separation. I would sooner shut down than live without Hank Anderson.. the power he holds over me is both terrifying and liberating, in a way.  
We have been living together since androids were given rights, around 4 months ago. I had no home now that CyberLife was under android control and purely for android reproduction or alteration purposes. Hank had put his hand on my shoulder and offered me his home to stay in if I so wished. It is a struggle to be together all day and not let my newfound romantic emotions show. I have to be in perfect balance, show too much and Hank asks questions, too little and I offend the man with my nonchalance. I feel a warmth whenever our eyes meet and keeping that to myself is difficult. I want nothing more than for Hank to hold me in his arms and never let go. I desire his lips on my forehead, my lips and all across my body.. I would no doubt disgust him if he knew. But maybe..

I know I shouldn’t be doing this at work but my desk, facing away from Hank’s, is the only opportunity I have, he would look over my shoulder at home, his curiosity where I am concerned seems to know no bounds lately. I bring up an internet page and type in ‘android sex realignment’ into the search bar. After becoming free and gaining control of android production lines, some of us have made requests to alter our forms, whether it be for androids that feel they were in the wrong body type or for those that wanted to experience coitus with their partner. Perhaps if I opt to redesign myself into a female form I will have at least a chance with him. I research cost, what changes would take place, how long it would take. I don’t make my appointment yet though, I can’t just do this on impulse and I’ll need planning to ensure Hank doesn’t get suspicious. I then pull up a notepad document and begin thinking of new names for myself, however, I get stuck on ‘Connie’. It would, perhaps, be easier for Hank to remember but I worry it sounds too much like my original, masculine, name. I decide I should run it by him after the change. I close all tabs and return to work.

We get home from work late, as usual. It’s dinner time for Hank and Sumo, I let Sumo out then fill his bowls with fresh food and water so Hank can take care of himself. That done I then sit opposite Hank at the table and watch him finish his meal. Hank is behaving oddly, I had noticed before leaving work his eyes shift to everything but me and there is an awkward tension in the air between us. I don’t understand why.  
“Is there a problem, Hank?” I ask, deciding to try to get this resolved.  
Hanks eyes shift again and he adjusts his sitting posture. “No.. ah, Chris was just telling me some shit earlier. Got me thinkin’ y’know?”  
I tilt my head, conveying my interest, “What did he say?” I ask.  
Hank shifts again, “Askin’ me about Android sexes.. you know, if the neutrals can get one or if they can change if they’ve been made with one, like them Eden models..” he drifts off, clearly uncomfortable with the topic.  
My eyes widen in shock but I mask it as best I can. Chris had been at the desk just behind mine.. he could have seen. I hadn’t considered, it seems I made an error. “Oh.” Is the best I can come up with. His eyes light up for a moment, as though I’ve just confirmed something. “Any reason why he would bring that up?” I ask, hoping to find out how much Chris has said.  
Hank shakes his head, puts his face in his hands for a moment and rubs then looks directly in my eyes. “Enough pussyfooting around!” He says, to himself or me is unclear. “Chris told me he caught you looking it up, sent me a picture of your screen at work to prove it, thought I should know if you were going to do anything risky or if you had a friend that needed something. Now I know you ain’t got any android friends, besides Markus, an’ he would sort himself out if he wanted somethin’ so tell me what’s up.”  
His eyes bore into mine and my resolve crumbles, “I wanted it for you.” I say, barely above a murmur, voice trembling, the way his eyebrows raise tells me he heard. I look away before his face can twist into disgust and anger. “Forget it? Please. Clearly I’ve been malfunctioning.”  
He bangs his fist on the table and I flinch, “Dammit, Connor! You are not a fucking machine! Tell me what’s on your mind, god dammit, I’m not a mind reader!”  
I bite my lip, refusing to meet his gaze. “I need you. I want you.” I sigh and continue, “Markus freed us, we don’t belong to anyone and yet, I want to belong to you. You wouldn’t understand.” I shake my head, tears welling up in my eyes, “You don’t need me as I need you. I thought if I was a female that perhaps you might look at me with adoration.. with love. I am both a man and a machine and you couldn’t love either. I’m sorry I’m this way. I will change if it means you would look at me differently.” I declare, eyes leaking profusely.  
“Bullshit!” Hank shouts, fist colliding with the table again. “Bullshit!” He repeats. “Look at me, Connor!” and without thinking, I do. “You listen real well, Connor, you don’t get to tell me what I can and can’t feel, y’got that?” his voice is shaking too, “Yeah, I don’t find men or androids attractive..” I look down with a nod, eyes blurred as more tears well up and fall. “I said look at me, Connor!” I wipe my eyes and meet his gaze, his eyes are shockingly wet too. “You make me feel things I had forgotten, things I didn’t think I would or could feel again. Without you caring about me the way you do I am certain I would have killed myself by now. So yeah, I may not be attracted to men or androids but you are not just any man and certainly not just any android. You don’t need to change for me, Connor, I love you just as you are.”  
I’m sure my face is blank as I try to compute my shock, relief and elation all at once. “I love you too, Hank. I would do anything for you.”  
“Just stay alive for me, I can’t live without you.” He says.  
“I can just uplo-“ Hank cuts me off before I can finish.  
“No! You wouldn’t be MY Connor if it was another body with your memories. My Connor would then probably be in the garbage somewhere so no, don’t fuckin’ do that to me.” He says angrily.  
I nod in understanding. “I would rather shut down than live without you, Hank, if I must take care of myself then I demand you do the same.” I insist.  
“I am old. You’ll have to live without me one day, Connor. It’s inevitable.” He says with a hint of sadness.  
“I am aware of your mortality and I promise you that when the time comes I will be by your side, we will face oblivion together. I meant it when I said I would rather shut down than live without you. So no, I doubt I would even last the day.” I tell him with conviction, my smile sincere. Surprise crosses his features. I extend my hand on the table and place it on his reassuringly.  
“Ah, fuck it!” Hank declares before surging forward across the table, his free hand grabbing the back of my head and pulling my face to his. Too fast for even me to react he pulls our lips together. It’s rough, there’s whisky now on my lips and in my mouth yet, somehow, it’s perfect. Probably just because it’s Hank and it’s everything I’ve wanted for so long. I melt into him. It’s awkward on my end as this is unfamiliar but Hank doesn’t seem to mind. I relax and let this man take everything he wants from me. I would deny him nothing. He breaks the kiss when the need for air becomes too great.

My confidence back I proceed to ask Hank about his preferences, “Apologies if this is awkward for you but if you are interested in sexual relations with me I’ll have you know I’ll need the necessary parts. I understand now that you wouldn’t want me to change my facial or physical appearance, however, would you prefer me to get the equivalent of a woman’s genet-“  
“Woah! Hey there! Fuck’s sake, Connor! That shit’s up to you. It’s your body. I don’t care what’s in your fuckin’ pants as long as you’re comfortable. You don’t even need anything if you don’t want it.” Hank says honestly.  
“I want to be intimate with you, Hank, in every aspect. I have thought about it for some time. Although it is something I would do should you ask, it’s not just that. I want it. The ‘smell of your sweat and your dirty words’, as the Traci put it.” I told him with equal honesty. I want everything this man would give me and I would take it gladly.  
Hank gives a short laugh before he turns thoughtful, “Can I ask you a personal question?”  
“Yes. Of course.” I answer without hesitation.  
“I know you don’t sleep but would you mind sharing the bed while I do? A man gets lonely and Sumo isn’t the best bed partner.” He chuckles.  
“If you didn’t ask, I believe I would have asked to join you later.” I smile affectionately. “I want to be close to you, always.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> I couldn’t get this plot bunny out of my head so I thought I’d share  
> I love this game so much <3  
> Am bad with titles though T_T lol


End file.
